BELLICOSE
by Harpsichord-Fetish
Summary: Soubi is forced to come to terms with his feelings towards Ritsuka and his memories of Seimei. Soubi/Ritsuka and Soubi/Seimei


**A/N:**** I wrote this all in one night…yeah. If you find any mistakes PLEASE inform me. This is loosely based off of the **_**Loveless**_** anime episode with the final battle with the Zero girls. The ending of the episode was very interesting to me and I found myself asking, "What were the various emotions that this particular battle stirred up in Soubi?" and "How did this effect his thinking towards Ritsuka and his memories towards Seimei?". These questions are what this fic explores. Words in italics are Soubi's thoughts.**

**Warnings:**** none, really. Well, there is some eye-melting angst. I'm going to rate this thing "T" because I'm paranoid (some might be overly sensitive to violence? I dunno.)**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own anything of Yun Kouga's **_**Loveless**_** or Charles Baudelaire's "The Duel". I am making absolutely no money off of this.**

**Bellicose**

"_Two warriors dueled upon the battle ground,_

_Their arms scattering bright sparks and blood; above_

_This sport, the clash of steel gave forth the sound_

_Of youth fallen a prey to puling love._

_-From "The Duel" by Charles Baudelaire_

"**Undulate****! Your body will ****Undulate**** and rip to ****Shreds****!"** Soubi enunciated the key words of the spell as he spoke, his voice a steady force in the surrounding carnage. He felt his chest begin to fill with a small twinge of pride at how well the battle was going but he quickly shoved the rare feeling to the back of his mind. Fighters had no right to feel satisfaction, and the battle required too much concentration for the examination of the various emotions this fight had conjured.

_I must protect Ritsuka!_ The mantra was repeated silently, drowning out every other thought. Kouya, the Fighter of the Zero pair they were engaging, began to build her defense with a strong incantation.

"**Your words have no effect! The effect is ****Zero****! We feel no pain!" **She screamed the powerful words, as if the force she but behind them would make the statement true for her nearly unconscious Sacrifice. Soubi felt a tightening in the back of his throat as he tried to envisage the words for his next attack. He found his thoughts straying to how many lies these two young women must have told each other over the years. With one gradually losing her name, and the other desperately clinging to her hope that it wasn't true; who knows how many falsities they whispered to each other to get by.

_Lies, lies, lies. Seimei and I were just the same…_

"**Lies****! Let ****Needles Pierce****you as fierce as your ****Lies****!"** The words flowed from him as he broke into a slight smile, perforated with an air of patronizing pity. With the spell, he shook his head from all invading thoughts of Seimei.

Needles that resembled summer lightening rained down on Yamato, the unfortunate Sacrifice, causing her to jolt forward and fall to her knees. Thankfully, she caught herself on a nearby headstone, light with a dull red glow from the strange dimension in which these small wars took place. Yamato raised herself up slowly, returning Soubi's sardonic and knowing look.

_She understands that it's her fault…she's the one whose genetic structure is breaking down. Her pain will bring the death of them both. I will kill them with the next spell._

"Living your life like a dead woman…" Soubi said it quietly, directing it at the short-tempered Fighter.

"You can never beat me! But you…" He then turned towards Yamato, who was breathing hard, trying to keep from crying out from the biting shackles that hung from her arms; shackles that were cutting into Ritsuka's flesh as well.

"You are the one that seems very much to be alive. I can see it so clearly…the look of immeasurable suffering on your face."

A look of confusion and reluctant realization drew itself onto Kouya's strained façade. She turned around with a scream, kneeling down and ripping at her Sacrifice's dirtied high school uniform. Every occupant of the cemetery knew no name would be found.

Soubi murmured in a tone that was almost consoling, "You have my sympathy…"

_Now!_

He raised his hand, about to delve the killing summons that would devastate them, tear them up on the inside and out, when little Ritsuka cried out in frantic alarm; he miniature hand grabbing the Fighter's wrist.

"Stop it Soubi, that's _**enough**_!"

Of all the mixed thoughts that rushed through Soubi's mind, the most predominant one was that the last word Ritsuka shouted was almost strong enough to be a spell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The lambent lights in the train made the big windows reflect the tired boy and the tall man like mirrors. There is no talking between them for some time, with Ritsuka sulking and Soubi leaning against one of the door with his eyes closed as if asleep. It was a long ride back to Ritsuka's house.

"I—" Ritsuka began timidly, his voice barely audible over the repetitive sound of the train. "I don't think what you did was right. You keep over doing it!"

Soubi opened his eyes, trying to hide his inappropriate amusement, and looked down at Ritsuka who was staring at him with an air that one could assume to be righteous indignation. Ritsuka felt exonerated in his saving of the Zero girls.

"I apologize. Seimei would have…" he didn't catch himself, but continued anyway, "I know you think that sparing their lives was a noble thing to do, but you have to realize, Ritsuka—"

"No, _you_ listen to _me_! I'm so sick of hearing you talk about my brother's orders! I'm your Sacrifice now, aren't I? I mean, you're always telling me that I am! You're always reminding me about how much you would do for me, who you would kill, who you would hurt! But it's all lies…" Ritsuka quickly lowered his head, obviously fighting tears. He struggled to put his convoluted thoughts into the proper order.

"Please. Just answer me this, huh? Did you lie like this to Seimei?" The question was so softly put, but very bitterly spoken. Soubi's eyes widened.

"There is a lot—" he began as delicately as he could, "a lot that you do not know about this world, Ritsuka. Like the battle we just fought. I know that you don't realize that those girls will have to die as a fighting pair now. That, even more so than torture or a physical death, is as painful as it gets for us. Those girls…their lives as a fighting team were all that they had. Please know that about us…"

"It was like that," a pause for a brief flash of insight, "for you and Seimei, too. Wasn't it? Being separated from him…"

"For me, it was a fate worse than death. But such a thing was not true for Seimei." The train continued to creak filling the void of all the unanswered questions. Ritsuka could feel himself begin, just a little bit, to recognize what Soubi was trying to say.

"Ritsuka," Soubi's hand dropped down to touch Ritsuka's shoulder. "you gave me a reason to live. Seimei may have taken everything, but you gave it back to me. That is the truth."

The screeching of brakes put a stop to their talk. The doors opened swiftly and cold air rushed in to sweep away the mess of words.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_When Seimei left, everything ended. But he told me…he _told_ me to obey this boy that shares absolutely nothing of his brother's personality._

_Not his coldness, his malice, his strength._

_Nothing._

_But, of all the pain that comes when I think about losing Seimei…_

_It is nothing compared to the thought of losing Ritsuka._

_No matter how many lies I tell, this thought will always remain._

**--END. **


End file.
